Happy
Endings The
last words. The very last words.
Aimee
read over the sentence again, making absolutely certain she had it down
just right. That was it. The end. ‘She
smiled, and kissed him again. Some people did get their happy endings
after all.’
“Halle-fucking-LUJAH!”
she screeched, jumping out of her chair. Oscar, her long-suffering
Siamese who was lying in the corner raised his head to stare
laconically at her for a second, then returned to his sunbathing. Three
years and seventy thousand words later and she was finally finished.
She leaned back over the laptop and tapped out ‘THE
END!!!!!!!!’, her body thrilling with the sudden rush of
glee. No more staring through the ancient sash window, no more cups of
coffee left to go cold at her elbow, no more days slumped in her desk
chair wondering if it was all worth it. She was free!
The
thrumming guitar of Green Day purred quietly from the miniature
speakers next to her Discman and Aimee flipped a finger out to turn the
volume up as loud as it would go, dancing across the room to the tinny
sound. Oscar opened his eyes and gave her a look that translated
unequivocally to “What on earth do you think you are
doing?”
But
Aimee couldn’t care less. She sang off-key, hurling her voice
out to the city that lay just beyond her open window, bouncing her body
around the room in a nihilistic fervour. Oscar watched her for a moment
and then stalked out, haughtily sidestepping her attempt to sweep him
up into her arms to join the dance. Aimee incorporated a little shuffle
and twist into her dance and skipped over to the desk to look at the
final page one more time. She was done!
“This
is the dawning of the rest of our lives!” Oh how apt those
words were to her now. With those final words on the computer, she knew
that her life had changed. It wasn’t a question of whether she could get published, from now
on it was all when. These pages of
words were her ticket away, her ticket out of the ordinary life into
Fame and Fortune as a bestselling author. She could just imagine the
book reviews now and how she would cheerfully flirt with Letterman when
she accepted his requests for an interview. She could do book signing
tours and sit in Borders, talking to aspiring authors. And she would
tell every single one of them that they could make it, they too could
be a star, that they should never give up.
Her
gaze caught the ancient answering machine and the smile across her face
broadened just a little more. Yes. She would listen to the message once
again. One more time, then she could delete it forever.
Aimee
danced over to the machine and flicked the play button. The tape was
cued up in just the right position, as it always was, just when she
needed that little motivation boost.
“Aimee,
you stupid cunt. You want to open up this door right now. Aimee! I know
you’re fucking in there.” The harsh grating of his
British accent battled with Green Day and Aimee felt her smile broaden
as her lips moved in synch with his words, knowing every inflection and
intonation by heart.
“You
think you can live without me? You stupid fucking cunt. You
can’t do anything without me. You’re nothing
without me!”
Maybe
she’d send him a copy of her book. Hot from the printers and
freshly signed. No, she’d send him a copy of the manuscript.
No note, no handwriting at all, just ‘Fresh Feeling
– by Aimee Carter’ typed neatly across the top.
Fuck you spelt out in seventy thousand words.
She
sashayed across to her computer and clicked the
‘Print’ button, watching as the little icon drew
paper into its pixellated maw. A whirr and a clunk from the little
laserjet on the coffee table signalled its imitation of the icon.
“You’ll
never write that novel. You know why – cause you’re
fucking useless. No
good for anything. You are lucky that I’ll have you, because
fuck knows nobody else would put up with a whiny, whinging little
pisser like you.”
Aimee
threw herself about the room to the beat of Billie-Joe
Armstrong’s guitar, revelling in every second of
Steve’s horrible British accent, picturing him for the last
time, hearing the words that had cut so deep that they’d
become a part of her. They were nothing now. He couldn’t
touch her ever again. Because coming out of the printer was her novel.
The thing that made her bulletproof.
The
beer bottles sitting on the desk began to chink together and Aimee
turned to look at the sound. A rumbling was building outside and it
grew louder with every second. Suddenly the floor disappeared from
under her and Aimee stumbled across the room, her footing thrown as the
room shook around her. Books clattered from shelves and pots and pans
tumbled from cupboards, the cacophony of noise building around her. The
CD player jumped off the desk and Green Day disappeared as it shattered
into hundreds of pieces of plastic. The thundering was deafening and
Aimee suddenly realised she was screaming, her body out of control in
the pure primal panic that gripped her.
Aimee
stumbled, her arms flailing as she fell headlong. She crashed into the
desk sending it crashing against the windowsill. A flare of pain shot
through her shoulder and she stayed down, just praying, begging out
loud for the rumbling to stop, for the tremor to leave her alone.
It
subsided, the rumbling slowly dying away and an eerie quiet descended
on the room, interrupted only by Aimee’s rasping breathing as
she struggling to get her panic under control. Every primal animal
instinct was telling her to flee, to run from this place that had
nearly consumed her.
“Everything
you do you’ll fuck up. I know you Aimee. You’ll end
up back with me, I fucking guarantee it. I might take you back if
you’re fucking lucky.”
Steve’s
voice broke the spell and Aimee shuddered. The CD player broke, yet her
bastard ex just kept talking. She laughed, a little hysterically. Why
not; it was what he was good at.
Aimee
gingerly picked herself up from the floor. Red hot stings lacerated her
left shoulder every time she tried to move it. She looked around at her
flat. Everything that had been on top of something else had fallen to
the floor, except for the answering machine, which was still blurting
out British-accented vitriol. Aimee limped over to it, wincing from her
ankle and pressed the stop button with her right hand. She
wasn’t in the mood anymore. All she wanted to do was finish
printing her story.
She
turned to see how far the little laserjet had got into the story.
“Oh
fuck.” Her eyes widened and she stood gaping at the empty
space on her desk, unable to make any movement at all.
She couldn’t tear her gaze from where the laptop
should have been. Or from the window that sat directly behind it.
“Oh Jesus fuck no.”
She
ran to the desk, careless of her injuries now. A wire trailed from
underneath her desk out of the window and she grabbed at it with her
right hand, praying to God. The world was spinning and a sting above
her right eye was starting to burn. Aimee looked over the edge of the
windowsill to see her laptop dangling by a single wire. The wire that
lead to the printer. The wire in her hand.
She
pulled, hauling it up so gently, her gaze fixed on the plug that
connected her to her future. Everything she’d imagined,
everything she’d dreamed of, every chance of proving Steve
wrong was hanging by a few pins of a computer plug. She
couldn’t do it again, she just couldn’t.
The
cable coiled underneath her and Aimee suddenly realised that she was
going to have to use her other hand to change her grip. She lifted her
arm, squeezing her eyes tight shut as wave after wave of scorching red
heat rippled through her body. Every millimetre was an agony and a cry
escaped her mouth as she tried to manoeuvre the limp, useless limb over
the windowsill.
Another
burst of pain flooded her body and Aimee squeezed her eyes shut, tears
seeping from them as her hand closed loosely around the wire. No matter
how much she tried to force them, her fingers wouldn’t work
as her brain was telling them to. Her whole left hand was
sensationless, incapable of anything but the weakest movement. She had
to hold that wire, she had to pull it towards her, she had to get that
story back. In her mind she could hear Steve’s voice as
clearly as if the ancient tape had kept rolling.
“Everything
you do you’ll fuck up.”
The
laptop shifted at the end of its tether as a couple of pins dislodged
from the connection.
“You
can’t do anything without me.”
Her
hand just wouldn’t move. She couldn’t let it go.
This was her chance, this was what she’d worked so hard to
get, to prove. Her independence was hanging by a couple of pins on a
computer connection.
“You’ll
end up back with me.”
Another
pin pulled from its socket and Aimee yanked on the wire, desperately
stretching for the laptop as the last bit of the connection went. It
hit her left hand and she could feel the dull thud as it connected with
the dumb flesh. Her whole being was screaming for her fingers to close
around it.
“You’ll
end up back with me. I fucking guarantee it.”
The
laptop fell.
Aimee
slumped down to the floor of her apartment. For a second it seemed as
though the numbness of her treacherous hand had spread to her whole
body. She was in a cocoon where nothing penetrated and time could stand
still, somewhere that the awful reality couldn’t manifest
itself. Then every molecule of oxygen left her body and she wept
without ceasing.
In
the corner of the room, the laserjet burred, clunking as it moved the
printer head to the centre of the paper. Temporary memory tried to make
sense of the mishmash of data that had transferred from the incomplete
connection. After a few seconds more clunking it printed out
‘THE END!!!!!!!!’ and dropped the last page on top
of the stack.
Then
it was quiet.
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